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“We are a people in whom the past endures,
In whom the present is inconceivable without moments gone by,
The Exodus lasted a moment, a moment enduring forever
What happened once upon a time happens all the time.
Mom’s life lasted a moment in the universe of time and space, but it is a moment that endures forever in the hearts and actions of everyone here assembled. As my wise wife Virginia told me yesterday, we all are in sacred space in this moment and we can today assure it endures.
My task is to remind us all Mom’s life is the testament to the power of someone who can turn the ordinary into the extraordinary.
My role now is threefold in summarizing her ordinary life with its extraordinary impact on us:
1. Let me begin by thanking all of you for coming to celebrate Mom’s life and for your participation in her life.
QUESTIONS
a. How many of you had a relationship with Mom where she was your surrogate mom or grandmom and therefore my honorary brother or sister? Please stand.
b. How many of you were formally taught at some time in your life by Mom in Sunday school or in a computer or other classroom setting?
c. How many more of you shared personally and directly in experiencing Mom’s wisdom and love?
Your membership in our extended Marie family contributed to the beauty of her life and ours. Thank you!
2. To remind some and to introduce many to Mom’s earlier life with my father, Dr. Irving Spitzberg, two lovers whose love and life partnership was central to her life and ours until my Dad died in 1989.
a. Dad was a professor of diseases of women and children at UAMS in its earliest guise and in many ways a unique private practitioner of pediatrics in Little Rock before the field formally existed. He was one of two white pediatricians in Arkansas who treated African American patients. He always had a desegregated waiting room and was deserted by many white patients because of that. Both Mom and Dad walked the walk of equality and justice.
b. Their marriage was unique in that two people separated by about twenty years in age created a partnership of love and life. Their marriage set the bar high for Paul and me.
c. Paul and I were (and are) Jewish-American Princes. We were the center of our parents’ lives, of course the best of the best to them (and to us, which explains our modesty). Our parents’ only social life – apart from an occasional Canasta game – was built around our school, scouting, sporting, and other extracurricular activities.
d. My brother and I are very different people, as were our parents. We learned from Mom and Dad to respect and have affection for those differences. I know that my brother’s generous spirit and sensitivity were critical to the quality of my mother’s life and for that I love and respect him. As we together created The Marie in her honor seven years ago we wanted to celebrate her story by celebrating others who are exemplars of her values and her approach to life.
3. Mom and Dad’s lives confirmed the nexus between commitment to family and building a community.
a. In Mom’s role as a volunteer while we were growing up and then as a single senior after my Dad’s death, Mom showed how her commitment to children could be transferred to serving the larger community. She showed how being physically active until weeks before her death and mentally acute to the last moment could contribute not only to the quality of her life but as a model to others.
b. In the last few months and days leading up to death, in Mom’s example of choosing quality of life and then taking the risks to live only with an active life, she displayed the exemplary way for an active human being to transition in her final days.
c. Until her very last exit to the operating room, Mom created a community of friends and admirers by her actions, not just her words.
Today as we bid Mom’s body goodbye we can commit ourselves to celebrating her legacy by taking the lessons of her life seriously.
Her story helps all of us to aspire to be a person who turns an ordinary life into an extraordinary gift to all. May we all at the end of our days be able to say what Mom told us: I have had a loving husband and loving sons. My life is complete whether I die today or tomorrow. This example of grace and wisdom was her parting gift to everyone.
And the larger community gave her the parting gift of wisdom and love through the work of the palliative care team at the Reynolds Center and Baptist Health Hospice. They carried on the long- standing contribution of the Reynolds Center’s doctors and staff in supporting Mom through times bad and good. Mom’s daily caregivers shepherded her in her last days with love and support of daughters of mercy and good humor.
Thank you community – expecially Temple B’nai Israel which was the spiritual and emotional center of her life for decades. It takes a village and her village was a village of angels from the beginning to the end. Thank you Mom for attracting this village of angels into all of our lives.
On behalf of the family and before I close I want to recognize Rabbi Levy and Bobbye as our brother and sister forever. They were the resident guardian angels for Mom for two decades.
Also, I want to invite everyone to return to the Temple after the interment at Oaklawn for a reception which will include a showing of Virginia’s production of her video biography for her 75th birthday which tells her story in her own voice and also to hear further reflections from all of you. Then if you are a Bridge or Majong Player you can continue the celebration of Marie by imitating her in the monthly Temple games after the refreshments.
Now I close with a ceremony I presented as a young teenage member of Demolays. You must understand that this ceremony --- the Flower Talk – was unusual for young males but central to the program of this Masonic group. Mom loved the first experience of this ceremony, and I presented it many times to her in her later years. So I invite you to join me as I honor all Mothers. Please conclude this abbreviated version by taking a rose from the vessels on the Altar after the benediction by Rabbi Levy as you follow the casket out of the sanctuary. Now The Flower Talk.
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